Do you find office boring..!??

If you find it very boring in the office,

Here are some tips for u!!!!

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.


3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet mail (and
immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your
mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach
there.
Then do vice versa....!!


4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to
irritate him/her.


5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).


6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working and
try changing your expressions also.



7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking
silly doubts. (IMPORTANT)


8. Have a three and half hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.


9. Learn to whistle.


10. Revise last week's newspaper.


11. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

12. Make faces at strangers in office.


13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.


14. Enhance your Literature skills. you can author "1001 innovative ways to
waste your day" to help your colleagues


15. Pick up the phone and dial non-existing nos.


16. Have work breaks in between tea.


17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at a time.


18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..

Then repeat this process.(very important)


19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he
was 5 years old.


20. Read jokes and send jokes.


21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a
nap.


22. Send this mail to only one at a time to everyone in your contact list.


ENJOY EVERYTHING IN YOUR OFFICE. . .

Presence of mind

In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy,

said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted
on buying only 1/2 kg.

So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside
Wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter".

To his surprise, the customer was standing behind him. So the boy added
immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!".

After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by
being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?"

To this the boy said, "I come from Mexico. The place consists of only
prostitutes and football players!!!!! "The manager replied coldly, "My wife
is also from Mexico".

To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"

Presence of mind helps, never panic!!!!!!!!

LET US TRY TO SPEAK...................................

Two Italian men get on a bus in London . They sit down and engage in animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma cums First. Den I cum. Den two asses cum together. I cum once-a-more! Two asses; They cum together again. I cum again and pee twice. Then I cum one lasta Time.'

The lady can't take this any more.
'You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly.'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.'

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a Justa tellin my frienda how to spell " MISSISSIPPI "

I bet you're gonna read this again! JJ

Life explained in a different style....!

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? Tha t's a pretty long time to perform.How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created  Human   and said: 

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

            Life has now been explained to you. 

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service

Wonderful one minute...

Wonderful one minute... 
One smart Software Engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards
Pune in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting
Along with her grand ma.

Within some time, Eye to Eye interactions started between Our Software
Engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very
Dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that, "The Guy is a rogue; how dare he did this? He kissed
My grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately
Slapped that guy."

The Project Manager thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed
that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel
sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, the Software engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a
time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Project Manager".